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We’ve all been around them. People that suck your emotional and mental energy out of you. People that drain you of your life force with their negative energy.
These kind of people are known as energy vampires or emotional vampires. They project whatever they are feeling inside onto other people and try to make their reality into your reality.
These energy vampires could be anyone – father, mother, brother, son, daughter, boyfriend, girlfriend, colleague or acquaintance. The closer the person is to you, the deadlier their energy field can be to you.
If you’re a compassionate, caring and/or thoughtful person, it’s likely you will attract energy vampires. Know that it’s not about YOU. It’s the nature of energy vampires to look for people with a glowing life force otherwise what else would they suck on.
An energy vampire believes it’s all about them. Every pain, every suffering, every misery that ever traipsed the earth is all about them. They see no one. They feel no one. They share no one else’s perspective except theirs. All they do is take and drain.
11 Signs You Have an Energy Vampire in Your Life
Energy vampires come in many forms but they all have several obvious characteristics. Until you learn to identify these characteristics, you won’t know how to deal with them:
- Do you feel drained, exhausted, irritated, miserable or unhappy within a few minutes in a person’s company? Do you think about how much you want to get away after only a few minutes in this person’s company?
- Do you feel like you are constantly compromising yourself, your ethics, integrity and belief system, and accepting the blame when you are around this person?
- Are you in a personal or professional relationship that feels like you are the only contributing to the relationship 100% of the time while the other person takes, takes and takes?
- Is there someone in your life that is always trying to guilt you into giving them something or making you do something?
- Energy vampires are never happy. Ever. They are complainers, whiners, party poopers, kill joys, and worst of all, drama queens. They can turn a simple trip to the grocery store into a theatrical production of Hamlet by the time you get to the check out counter.
- An energy vampire always finds a way to make your happiness/your moment about them then subsequently ruin it.
- Do you hang around people that mock or ridicule you every time you want to be yourself?
- Are there people in your life that need constant reassurance and validation? Does it feel like you have to whip out an orchestra to sing, “You are the champion” every damn day?
- Do you have a push-pull relationship with anyone? These are people that suddenly reappear when your life is going great and disappear when it seems like things aren’t in top shape?
- Do you always feel like you have to save someone? Like it’s your job to fix someone or their life?
- Do you have someone in your life that complains incessantly about every one and everything without any intention of or interest in fixing what the issue is?
If you can relate to more than two things on the list above, chances are you have an energy vampire in your life, and it’s time to do something about it.
8 Ways to Avoid and Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires
Once you’ve identified the energy vampires, it’s not so easy to get rid of them. Some of them might have been in your life for years and have become an intricate part of your life.
- When someone treats you in a way you find unacceptable, speak up immediately or ASAP. Don’t accept it or find a way to cope with it. Nope. Call the person out on it. Acquaint yourself with the word, no.
- Before you kick the person to the curb, think about having a conversation with them. Maybe the relationship can be fixed. It’s possible the person doesn’t realize what they’ve been doing and a conversation can help them become conscious of the kind of energy they’re putting out there.
- Don’t try to be the bigger person or go along to get along. This isn’t just some one off event. This is your life energy. This person is effectively preventing you from achieving your life plan because you have no energy left after they’re done feeding off your energy.
- You cannot always get rid of energy vampires depending on the relationship so what are you going to do in this case? Reduce the time you spend with the person significantly if you cannot avoid them altogether.
- Learn to tune out negative people if you can’t avoid them completely. If you’re wondering how to do this, meditation is a very effective method. When you tune someone out and surround yourself with the light of your energy, their words mean nothing and cannot affect you. It takes time to learn how to do this. Read Meditation 101.
- Pay attention to the energy you are putting out there as well. You may be attracting the same type of people to you. For instance, if you’re belligerent all the time, you may find yourself surrounded by belligerent people. Take control of your energy as well. What you seek is seeking you – Rumi.
- Talk to someone else about energy vampires especially someone that has been in the same situation as you. This can help you understand what’s going on and accept that you are not the problem here.
- You are allowed to walk away from any and every situation that does not make you happy. You do not need anyone’s permission or validation to do it either. This is about you. Give yourself the permission to walk away without feeling guilty about it.
Let me tell you something awesome that happens when you learn to become confident, strong, positive, assertive and secure in your own power. Energy vampires swerve out of your way because they recognize your energy isn’t easily accessible to feed off. Energy vampires don’t like work and when you’re this way, it’s too much work. They will back off and move on to the next possible victim.